WEEK 41 + 2-3 DAYS
WEEK 41, DAY 2
At this point, I expect the unexpected. I am angry, on the verge of tears with frustration, tired, disappointed AND trying to keep myself together so that I can have “relaxing/positive thoughts” that will foster a positive birth experience. I’m king of over trying though.
Yesterday and the night before that, I was in a really positive head space. I felt surrendered to baby coming late, and whatever happening. I got the best night sleep that night that I had had in awhile. Then I woke up to a lot of cramping, and then contractions on and off throughout the day. I had a non-stress test in the afternoon, which is where the baby’s and my heart rate get monitored for twenty minutes, to check for signs of distress. Everything checked out “great.”
The contractions would come and in about hour intervals throughout the day, starting at 11. Then come night time and they really starting ramping up at about 8 pm. They were intense, and went from 10 mins apart, to five, to three. Then they suddenly went back to 10 and became a lot less intense. At about 10 I tried to fall asleep, but then they ramped back up for about twenty minutes, before leaving completely and letting me sleep for the night. So I slept okay throughout the night until waking up at 5 am and not being able to fall back asleep. So here I am, frustrated at not going into labor. Frustrated at only getting six hours of sleep. And frustrated that I’m not experiencing contractions.
How long is this going to last? I’m tired of thinking, “there’s no way I’ll be going to xyz,” and then arriving to that event. Maybe I should just expect an induction, and maybe even a c-section, at this point, so that I avoid disappointment. But the harm of doing that is putting negative thoughts into my vision. Wow, there’s a theme here of me wanting to go negative but my rationale trying to pull me back to positive.
WEEK 41, DAY 3
Eat spicy food, they say. Have sex, eat pineapple, drive over bumpy roads (assuming that one’s a joke), go for walks, eat dates, drink castro oil, get accupuncture. I’ve tried it all! Except for the last two, because my doula doesn’t recommend castro oil and I’m scheduled for acupuncture today! Oh yeah, and eggplant. I need to have some eggplant today.
Yesterday was a repeat of the day before, but slightly more intense: on and off contractions every hour or so. The difference came in the middle of the night. I was awoken to strong contractions a few times, but they would subside. Once, at 4:30, I got up because I had a few contractions that felt uncomfortable to lay down through. So I got up to test them and see if they’d last. After about an hour they had died down and I went back to bed. Luckily I was able to sleep again until 7 am.
Both times I woke up, I had lost a significant amount of my mucus plug. I bled through my shorts and into my robe- sorry, gross, I know. This is day three of my losing my mucus plug, and I can’t imagine there’s anymore left.
When I woke up at 7, my contractions felt more like cramps, and weren’t very strong. It’s now 10:30 am, and the activity has continued that way for the morning: not much happening. We went for a walk, did some squats… nothing more.
I have acupuncture in two hours. It’s be glorious if that was the magic key. But honestly, I’m not expecting anything anymore. I'm in a better headspace today because I have resigned to any outcome.
Oh, also, my mom has stayed with us the last couple of nights, just in case. I don’t want her to have to drive over in the middle of the night, and since Julian hasn’t been here she’s had a bed to sleep in, and it’s been nice to have her attention on the kids, so Luc and I can focus more on eachother, and also she’s helped care for me too. She went home this morning and is on standby. As we all are.