WEEK 19- Mother's Day Circle
The bump has arrived! And I officially feel pregnant! My bump has significantly grown over the last week, although it still probably looks like a beer-belly to the outside world. I’m also feeling baby kicks! They’re seldom and sporadic, but they’re there!
I forgot to write about Mother’s Day last week, so I’m going to take a second to do that because was a special Mother’s Day that I want to remember it.
Usually my Mother’s Day consists of my husband making me breakfast, buying me some flowers and a sweet gift, my kids making me cards, and then spending the afternoon with my mom by going on a hike or to lunch. It’s always lovely. But this Mother’s Day, I had my eye on a “Mother’s Circle” event that a lovely woman, named Elizabeth Theirault, was hosting. I’ve been wanting to go to one of her events, but they’re always two hours on a weekend, and its hard to take that time away from my family, especially when I already do that with my tennis matches. But, I decided that this was actually the perfect time to ask for that special exception! At first I thought I should spend the day with my husband and family, and then changed my perspective to not include “shoulds.” I realized that what I really wanted to do was to go to this event. Taking a couple of hours to nourish myself sounded like the perfect gift. And, I was happy to invite my mom to join me! Funny that when I invited my mom her first response was similar to mine: “are you sure you don’t want to spend the day with your family?” she asked. “Nope, I see them everyday,” I said. :)
And she was excited to join me! I’m so impressed by her willingness to go into this event without knowing anyone, or ever having done something like this before. There were two women leading the group, and three other moms attended along with my mom and I (everyone was half my mom's age). We didn’t really have any idea what to expect, but I know Elizabeth would put on a sweet event.
I entered the circle relaxed and ready to receive. I had just finished teaching my first week of classes, and felt a little depleted energy wise. The class gave me just the recharge I needed. We listened to a meditation guided by Elizabeth, and shared our stories of motherhood struggles and support with one another. You know, this is my jam. I loved watching my moms process in the event too: at first she was nervous, and then excited to be in a place where she could share freely. And she had a beautiful perspective to offer, having been through (maybe a few times) a lot of what the moms were struggling with. It was really gratifying to me to be able to share one of my favorite experiences with my mom like that. Mom, since I know you’re one of the few people reading this- thank you for coming with me!
One of the topics brought up in the Mother's Circle discussion that really got me thinking was the idea of self-care. The exercise was to first see what your visceral reaction to the term “self-care” is. Then to think of some self-care habits that you’d like to add to your life. It was interesting that every woman attending had a negative response to “self-care.” Mine was disliking the expectation to do self-care in a certain, commercialized way that I don’t jive with: getting nails done, night out with girlfriends, bath, etc. For me, to recharge, I usually need some alone time to reflect, just breathe and be present. And for me right now, I feel the self-care that I’d really like to improve upon is advocating for myself. This comes in various forms: social situations, relationships, and with my current birth process. I want to work on really speaking my truth.
After the mother’s circle, my husband and two kids met us and we walked to a restaurant in downtown Petaluma for lunch. It was all pretty perfect.
The five month mark is coming up! One more week.